How Smart is Your Right Foot?
You have to try this - it takes 2 seconds.
It is from an orthopedic surgeon... This will boggle your mind
and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can
outsmart your foot, but, you can't.
It's pre-programmed in your brain!
1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are Goofy...)
and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer,
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction..... I told you so!
And there's nothing you can do about it!!
You and I both know how stupid this is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.
Send it to your friends to frustrate them too!
You have to try this - it takes 2 seconds.
It is from an orthopedic surgeon... This will boggle your mind
and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can
outsmart your foot, but, you can't.
It's pre-programmed in your brain!
1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are Goofy...)
and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer,
lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction..... I told you so!
And there's nothing you can do about it!!
You and I both know how stupid this is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.
Send it to your friends to frustrate them too!
I know everyone is busy and it's easy to forget to clean your LCD screen. It's really hard to do the inside, so here is my gift to you: Click here!
"What's lost is nothing to what's found, and all the death that ever was, set next to life, would scarcely fill a cup."
Frederick Buechner, Godric
Frederick Buechner, Godric
(Funny story about a serious subject.)
This is from newshound Dave Barry's (Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald) colonoscopy journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a boxlarge enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basicallywater, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter
plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
And the best one of all...
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
This is from newshound Dave Barry's (Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald) colonoscopy journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a boxlarge enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basicallywater, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter
plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
And the best one of all...
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
Just For Fun
(This just in from one of our listeners)
My five-year old students are learning to read. . .
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
'Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!'
I took a deep breath, then asked...'What did you call it?'
'It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!'
And so it does...
' A f r i c a n Elephant '
Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?
My five-year old students are learning to read. . .
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
'Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!'
I took a deep breath, then asked...'What did you call it?'
'It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!'
And so it does...
' A f r i c a n Elephant '
Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?
"I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."
-- Abraham Lincoln
-- Abraham Lincoln
This brings 'playing with your food' to a whole new level...........
THE PARROT FLOWER
This is a flower from Thailand, a protected species not allowed to be exported... WOW!
It really does look like a parrot!!
This is a flower from Thailand, a protected species not allowed to be exported... WOW!
It really does look like a parrot!!
How quickly the years pass ...
Movies
Man on Fire
"Does anybody not love Denzel Washington?? Brilliant actor and THE best child actor, Dakota Fanning is in this one too. She's incredible...made me cry."
"Does anybody not love Denzel Washington?? Brilliant actor and THE best child actor, Dakota Fanning is in this one too. She's incredible...made me cry."
Les Miserables
This movie makes me weep every time. To me, it’s the best demonstration of the transforming power of a single act of mercy!
This movie makes me weep every time. To me, it’s the best demonstration of the transforming power of a single act of mercy!
Music
Bee Gee’s
“Made my heart melt in college and today’s no different. Cover your ears though when you catch me singing along.”
“Made my heart melt in college and today’s no different. Cover your ears though when you catch me singing along.”
Sand and Water by Beth Nielson Chapman
“my favorite cd of all time. I love how Beth writes and sings. Her rendition of Ave Maria is heartbreakingly beautiful…it’s not on this cd though.”
“my favorite cd of all time. I love how Beth writes and sings. Her rendition of Ave Maria is heartbreakingly beautiful…it’s not on this cd though.”
Books
Life as a Vapor by John Piper
"Life is short. Eternity is long. Live like it." (from the back cover)
"Life is short. Eternity is long. Live like it." (from the back cover)
How Children Raise Parents by Dan B. Allender, Ph.D.
"This is a great book! I had always subscribed to the 'rules-oriented' parenting approach...this book offers an alternative way to build a healthy parent-child bond. It was time for me to 'let go of the pressure to make sure my kids succeeded and instead learn to grow into maturity by listening to my children'. I go back to this book, time and time again."
"This is a great book! I had always subscribed to the 'rules-oriented' parenting approach...this book offers an alternative way to build a healthy parent-child bond. It was time for me to 'let go of the pressure to make sure my kids succeeded and instead learn to grow into maturity by listening to my children'. I go back to this book, time and time again."
You Can't Get There From Here by Gayle Forman
Just started it! Newsweek says, "This is travel through a secret side door; Lucky us, we get to go along."
Just started it! Newsweek says, "This is travel through a secret side door; Lucky us, we get to go along."
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault, illustrated by Lois Ehlert
"This adorable children's book was my youngest son's favorite. He was enthralled by this one and without fail would say, 'again Mommy, again...peas?'
"This adorable children's book was my youngest son's favorite. He was enthralled by this one and without fail would say, 'again Mommy, again...peas?'
The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.
"I agree with Dr. Hallowell, author of Driven to Distraction, that ALL parents would benefit from reading this book. It's not just for parents of kids who are out of control. It offers fresh, new help...stuff I haven't heard before that really makes sense."
"I agree with Dr. Hallowell, author of Driven to Distraction, that ALL parents would benefit from reading this book. It's not just for parents of kids who are out of control. It offers fresh, new help...stuff I haven't heard before that really makes sense."
Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
"A tough but incredibly moving, honest family story...painful but full of hope."
"A tough but incredibly moving, honest family story...painful but full of hope."
A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
"One of my favorite books for 10 years now!"
"One of my favorite books for 10 years now!"
When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd
"She also wrote, 'The Secret Life of Bees' which I loved. This is an earlier work about spiritual discovery."
"She also wrote, 'The Secret Life of Bees' which I loved. This is an earlier work about spiritual discovery."
Without a Map by Meredith Hall
Alanna Nash of Entertainment Weekly says, "Hall emerges as a brave writer of tumultuous beauty." This memoir is powerful, stunning, exquisite and poignant...all words from the toughest of critics. It touched something deep within me.
Alanna Nash of Entertainment Weekly says, "Hall emerges as a brave writer of tumultuous beauty." This memoir is powerful, stunning, exquisite and poignant...all words from the toughest of critics. It touched something deep within me.
Leap! What Will We do with the Rest of Our Lives? by Sara Davidson
"Love to read stories of middle aged people from all walks of life...lots of familiar faces and what they're overcoming."
"Love to read stories of middle aged people from all walks of life...lots of familiar faces and what they're overcoming."
Do What You Are by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger
"Great classic that'll give you career suggestions congruent with your personality"
"Great classic that'll give you career suggestions congruent with your personality"
In the Company of Stone, Walls and words by Dan Snow, Photographs by Peter Mauss
“this book amazes me every time I curl up in my chair with it. The photography is beautiful and captures the heart of this waller and wordsmith. I can’t put into words why I love stone so much!”
“this book amazes me every time I curl up in my chair with it. The photography is beautiful and captures the heart of this waller and wordsmith. I can’t put into words why I love stone so much!”
Corduroy by Don Freeman
“My boys used to beg me to read this one…and I did…over and over and over again….sweet story.”
“My boys used to beg me to read this one…and I did…over and over and over again….sweet story.”
Inventing the Rest of our Lives by Suzanne Braun Levine
“Love hearing from other women... what’s working for them and what they’re up to...”
“Love hearing from other women... what’s working for them and what they’re up to...”
Windows of the Soul by Ken Gire
“Has been on my short list of recommended books for years…especially in difficult, dark times”
“Has been on my short list of recommended books for years…especially in difficult, dark times”
Internet
Favorite Podcast ...
Tim Keller: “love the way he causes me to think about Christ” - Click Here For Free Sermons
Favorite YouTube Clips ...
What a sweet reunion story...
And I thought my dog was talented...
This is one of my favorite videos of all time...
This one cracks me up...
Charlie bit my finger, again...
Products
Arbonne Health and Beauty Goodies
“I can tell a big difference in my skin since I first started using this Arbonne system. My age spots and blotchiness have faded...my face looks tighter and you know I haven't had any 'work' done! I'm too chicken for that. I especially like the serum! There are some brand new sea scrub and detoxing products that I'm getting next. My girlfriends are already using them and go on and on about them. *Call Rhonda Keckley if you're interested in learning more: 615-504-1398
“I can tell a big difference in my skin since I first started using this Arbonne system. My age spots and blotchiness have faded...my face looks tighter and you know I haven't had any 'work' done! I'm too chicken for that. I especially like the serum! There are some brand new sea scrub and detoxing products that I'm getting next. My girlfriends are already using them and go on and on about them. *Call Rhonda Keckley if you're interested in learning more: 615-504-1398