Life Design Insights #4
Why is CHANGE often so hard?
I believe the primary reasons we have such a hard time changing anything in our life is
1) We’re not aware of HOW WE LEARN as human beings and
2) We often have to overcome years of what I call OLD LEARNING.
Let me give you an example I use in my workshops. I ask participants the question “How many of you know how to ride a bike?” Typically every hand in the room goes up. Then I ask “How many of you learned to ride a bike by reading the book How to Ride a Bike?” Oddly enough, no hands go up. Then I ask “Well, how did you learn to ride a bike?” The answer is obvious – you got on it, rode some, turned the handlebars, shifted your weight to turn, fell a few times and continued to get back on until you were riding smoothly down the street. In other words, you learned to ride a bike by practicing riding the bike! And this is the key: WE MUST ENGAGE OUR BODY TO LEARN!
When I say that, I mean literally to LEARN anything (to be a leader, to have tough conversations, to be good in relationship, to balance a checkbook, to type on the computer, and on and on) we must involve our body repeatedly in the process. It is not enough to take in information and think or talk about something. We must engage our body and do it over and over before we can say we’ve learned something. Pretty simple, huh?
Let’s take a new look at the whole idea of LEARNING. A simple definition is:
LEARNING = TIME + PRACTICE + RIGOR.
Using this definition of learning, I believe we have such a hard time changing because we:
- Don’t give ourselves ample TIME to learn – we’re not patient. We expect ourselves to master something in a week or two, or live in the illusion that we should already know how before we even start. Sound familiar?
- Stop PRACTICING. We make up “stories” when we make mistakes in trying to learn something new and these “stories” stop us from every practicing again. You may recognize these:
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Well, I obviously am not cut out for…
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I’m just not good at…
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I should already know how to…
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I can’t learn this as I’m just not as smart as everyone else
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It’s uncomfortable to do this
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I’ll look stupid if I make a mistake
- Are not RIGOROUS about our learning. Rigor means doing it even when you don’t feel like doing it – a commitment to your learning!
In addition, in order to learn something new we often have to overcome years of OLD LEARNING (what we commonly call habits) that is in opposition to our new learning. A very simple example is learning to exercise. If you’ve spent the last 10 years not exercising, and start an exercise regimen (new learning), I promise you your body and mind will resist and try to convince you this new learning is not a good thing! Stick with it!
New learning often takes the form of a step or two forward and a step backwards. We must be patient with ourselves and our learning, and we must be committed to practicing over and over and over without the expectation of seeing immediate results. In today’s world that can be a challenge as many of us want to see results RIGHT NOW!
So, the next time you get ready to learn something, whether it is at work or at home, ask yourself - “Am I really committed to the TIME, PRACTICE and RIGOR it will take in order to learn this?”
If the answer is no, then get committed or come back to the learning at another time. If the answer is yes, SAVOR THE PRACTICE AND YOU WILL LEARN!
I offer a variety of educational workshops, professional coaching and professional speaking options. If you want to learn more about DESIGNING YOUR LIFE give me a call at 615-865-1927.
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