Link to Esquire
1. Nicest Cans
Beers featured in Christopher B. O'Hara's new book, Great American Beer: 50 Brands that Shaped the 20th Century.
2.Most Rattled Cage
"Cooley felt something give in his ribs, wasn't sure if it was a separation or a break. Garza came back with another left to the ribs, and Cooley felt something crack on his right side, sensed it in his spine, gagged, had to fight off shock like it was another opponent. Cut flesh doesn't hurt like broken bone. Stab and horn wounds cause delayed hurt, but broken bones are quick as a bumblebee bite."
—From the posthumously published boxing novel Pound for Pound, by F. X. Toole, author of Million Dollar Baby
3. Biggest Book
4. Saddest Soldier
Henry: I'm halfway through a novel.
Interviewer: What's it about?
Interviewer: You mean, for instance, it's about cancer?
Interviewer: How about my wife?
Henry: She's in there, too.
—From the somehow-successful interview at a pickle factory of slacker Henry Chinaski (Matt Dillon) in the darkly funny film Factotum, based on the novel by Charles Bukowski
In the barracks / By the army cot / There's a feller who's just cut his face shaving / And as he bleeds on his pillow in the dark / Waiting for the morning / When he gets to go online to you." —From the song "Crackers," on Nashville mainstay Lambchop's poignant new album, Damaged
5. Most Calculated Decision: D[Rp(Ra+P)+D(Ra-Rp)=A
6. Cutest Hatemonger
The surprisingly accurate formula for determining if you should apologize to your girlfriend, in which (on a scale of one to ten) D equals the size of the issue, Ra your actual responsibility, Rp your perceived responsibility, and P how pissed off she is, according to Geek Logik: 50 Foolproof Formulas for Everyday Life, by Garth Sundem. (Note: If A>1, it's time to apologize.)
From Donny Miller's book of social observations and illustrations, Beautiful People with Beautiful Feelings.